Sunday, November 14, 2010

Spider Jokes

I used to more or less agree with what Hyperbole and a Half has to say about spiders: they are scary, they want to get in my mouth while I sleep & they want to ruin my birthday party and push my dog into traffic.

However, this girl took up residence next to the rear door of the house this summer, & my father & I enjoyed watching her eat (read: threw bumblebees into the web) & build her little home every evening. Every time I watched her do something I would get a little closer, until by the end of the summer I more or less put my face down on her. So I quite like spiders now.

I think my favorite feature of spiders is that in order to build their perfectly geometric webs, they do all kinds of wonderful acrobatics, dropping off the top line & sailing along on the breeze. And when their homes have too many holes? They EAT THEIR HOUSES & REBUILD THEM. That's commitment.

But it's also convenient. Can you image how nice it would be, when you were staring into the fridge lamenting that there was nothing to eat, if you could just rip its doors off & eat them? Or if your roommate kept leaving her books all over the floor you could cram them into your mouth & turn them into something else you wanted?

Why didn't spider man have that talent? He could've made himself a new Uncle Ben!

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