Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Rain, Summer, Money.

Men's Member-Guest
Originally uploaded by chlorinebeach.
It was the first day of summer the other day, which means the end of June is almost here, which means the year is already half over. Have you kept your New Year's Resolutions? Did you make any? Do you even remember them? I think my resolutions this year were significantly less interesting than my ones from 2008, but I wouldn't know. I'd have to check my Livejournal.

Anyway, the summer is really here. I guess I kind of knew that, since I've been home from London for almost two months. But with all of this rain and everything, it certainly doesn't FEEL like summer. [For anybody reading this who doesn't live in my area: it started raining at the beginning of June + hasn't stopped since. This is only a slight exaggeration.] My mother complains about feeling like she lives in Seattle, and certainly the rain isn't good for business at either job # 1 or #2, but I don't really mind the rain. Or I wouldn't if I had time to enjoy it.

I feel like I had a few nice weeks about a month or so ago, when I had time to sit at the gigantic table on my back porch and scrapbook after doodling all morning, or maybe lie still and listen in the morning if it was raining. I thought it was going to be kisses and ice cream sundaes all summer, but then M.ton got a job, + business at jobs #1 and 2 picked up, and then I decided house-sitting was a good idea, and all of a sudden I'm coming home from work at about 10:30 every day + crawling straight into bed so I can get up and do it again the next day. Even today, when I got home early (8:30!), I can't accomplish all of my goals for the night because I am too drained from running around all day and all weekend.

I appreciate the money, I really, really do. I've had spending money each week, and I'm going to be able to save enough so I'll have money at school AND I'll be able to buy a new computer at the end of the summer. I'm a lot better off than some people in this current economic environment. But when you work for millionaires and their little trust-fund babies... well, it's hard not to compare yourself, right? I was reading Jane's blog over at seaofshoes.com, and while I love her, and I think she's great + finds wonderful stuff, I actually think I'm going to have to stop reading her blog because it always makes me really bitter. She's a really lucky person- she had the fortune to be born to a woman who is already in the business she's interested in, and they seem to not want for anything. But seeing a 17-year-old girl have any totally fabulous clothing she wants.... well, it's just sort of annoying for me.

But that's not the point. The point is, I guess, that I'd really like to have some time to myself, some time to relax + develop ideas + exercise my creative brain for a space longer than a few hours in the evening. Maybe when I save up enough money, I'll take the rest of the summer off (ha). I look at all of these country club wives, with their tennis and their free time, and it seems like they have it made, + they're mostly really pleasant people. Really. They get it, and they don't have to be nasty to the help, which is great. But the ones that are nasty to the help? It seems like they're the ones who are feeling trapped. They don't like staying at home all day, they haven't invested themselves in anything other than their children or their garden club or whatever, and maybe they don't feel like they're realizing their full potential as human beings. So I guess, in a way, I'm also glad I'm not them. Because if I were married to some rich guy, the reason I would be home all day certainly wouldn't be children.

I'm already doing my summer funk of being excited to go back to school? Maybe it's all the rain.

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